Let’s Take the Mac-Money UFC Betting Show On The Road
Posted by: Mike Davis
The Conor McGregor vs. Floyd Mayweather international press tour promises to be just like Lollapalloza if you take away the music and just leave the freak show. Showtime Spots announced on Friday that the two top names in the beating-the-snot-out-of-other-human-beings industry – and who have broken many a PPV record and many a face – will go on a trip that will take them to four cities, three countries, and two continents. The party starts on July 11th in Los Angeles at the Staples Center with stops on Wednesday in Toronto at Sony Centre for the Performing Arts, Thursday in Brooklyn at the Barclays Center, and Friday in London at the SSE Arena at Wembley. And everyone’s invited. Really. The events are open to the public, just remember that free tickets will be on a first-come first-served basis and will be limited to four per customer.
And apparently there will be gift-giving. At least Money Sr. told Helen Yee he had some presents for Conor. It was difficult to follow his train of thought, though. In fact, any fan who likes to bet on UFC and can make sense out of this will get one million imaginary points. In any case, now we know where Money Jr. gets his oratory skills. Following the exchanging of presents there will be the airing of grievances, and finally the feats of strength. One thing’s clear for the cantankerous old-timer, however; “even if [Conor] goes the distance, [Floyd’s] gonna whoop his ass.”
Meanwhile, in order to improve his UFC betting odds and help in a critical moment of not getting his ass whooped, Mac has summoned some unlikely help in the form of former two-weight world champion Paulie Malignaggi. Wasn’t he on Jersey Shore? At one point Malignaggi told McGregor he was “going to knock the beard off you homie. You are going to be apologizing for everything you have been trying to do to get into boxing.” Five months later, McGregor has invited him to training camp to be one of Mac’s main sparring partners. So what they say is true; desperation is indeed a stinky cologne. If he did it to save face, then it’ll probably fail both on a figurative as well as a metaphorical basis.
Since you’re in a hiring mood, Con (we can call you Con, right?), we would like to offer our services as comeback trainer. You know, come up with quips and zings and whatnot. For example, when Money senior said the fruit of his loins would whoop your ass? How ‘bout this for a retort: “Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.” Because… because he’ll be dust on Monday… Because you’ll be pulverizing on a Saturday… And the cleaning lady… cleans up… dust. She dusts. And she has weekends off, so… Monday. Right? Nope? No good? Okay. Anyhoo, for most UFC betting fans it will be the journey and not the destination that matters. That is, the fight will most likely be over faster than a CM Punk mixed martial arts match, so let’s just enjoy the media circus and twitter wars that will precede it.